There is something to be said about the people you find on Sixth Street on Christmas Eve… The Europeans who earnestly request AC/DC over and over again even though it’s not on the bar’s iPod, the 30-something’s desperately looking to hook-up, the dudes wearing matching “pussy lover” shirts with Sylvester the Cat printed on them – all these guys, they are my people. We are the Christmas orphans, brought together by lame circumstance, all agreeing to get shit-faced together for one special purpose: to not feel so god damn alone.
This was my first Christmas Eve & Day that I had to work. (Yes it sucked, let’s move on). Luckily I had company in the form of one of my newest friends Santiago, or else I would’ve totes hung myself with some Dollar General holiday garland and tinsel only to be discovered by my buidling’s security guard who thinks it’s appropriate to hug me whenever I come home drunk.
So what exactly do you do when you have to work the holidays far from home? Drink, obviously. But keep in mind, there is a delicate balance between a good festive buzz and being pathetically drunk on the Eve of Great Baby Jesus’ birth. This is a line you don’t want to cross, if you do you’ll probably end up hating yourself until 2012.
Tips to avoid this: Do NOT ride the bull. Do not even edge near the thing for god’s sake. It just goes against all that is pure and holy. Having dudes video your epic fail of a fall in a mini-skirt is definitely not my idea of a Merry Christmas. Didn’t think that even needed to be said but I definitely saw some exposed coochies last night and thought I’d reiterate for all my slotas out there taking no holidays off.
…And then there’s the sad drunks. The dudes that are at home drinking alone, lashing out at anyone who dares to keep them company after the bars close. Avoid these people. Even though they have the most bottles of liquor and the most banging flat-screen, they will try and ruin your merriness. Sure it sucks that you’re alone on Christmas and don’t have a significant other to cuddle and laugh at single people with, but god damn at least you aren’t on the street outside of Shakespeare’s begging for a quarter.
So DO consume drinks like “Jet Fuel” (it’s fucking blue, guys, BLUE) and have a “Vegas Bomb,” cause really, why the hell not? Now go and have a Merry Christmas, no excuses you filthy animals.
RT @kennaymart: RT if you ever broke your foot while trying to kick the top of the fire hydrant off like Beyoncé in the Crazy in Love video. 4 hours ago
today is so boooooootiful, I just wanna lay down on the grass and sleep... then I remember I hate nature. 8 hours ago
The People You Meet At The Bar on Christmas Eve
This was my first Christmas Eve & Day that I had to work. (Yes it sucked, let’s move on). Luckily I had company in the form of one of my newest friends Santiago, or else I would’ve totes hung myself with some Dollar General holiday garland and tinsel only to be discovered by my buidling’s security guard who thinks it’s appropriate to hug me whenever I come home drunk.
So what exactly do you do when you have to work the holidays far from home? Drink, obviously. But keep in mind, there is a delicate balance between a good festive buzz and being pathetically drunk on the Eve of Great Baby Jesus’ birth. This is a line you don’t want to cross, if you do you’ll probably end up hating yourself until 2012.
Tips to avoid this: Do NOT ride the bull. Do not even edge near the thing for god’s sake. It just goes against all that is pure and holy. Having dudes video your epic fail of a fall in a mini-skirt is definitely not my idea of a Merry Christmas. Didn’t think that even needed to be said but I definitely saw some exposed coochies last night and thought I’d reiterate for all my slotas out there taking no holidays off.
…And then there’s the sad drunks. The dudes that are at home drinking alone, lashing out at anyone who dares to keep them company after the bars close. Avoid these people. Even though they have the most bottles of liquor and the most banging flat-screen, they will try and ruin your merriness. Sure it sucks that you’re alone on Christmas and don’t have a significant other to cuddle and laugh at single people with, but god damn at least you aren’t on the street outside of Shakespeare’s begging for a quarter.
So DO consume drinks like “Jet Fuel” (it’s fucking blue, guys, BLUE) and have a “Vegas Bomb,” cause really, why the hell not? Now go and have a Merry Christmas, no excuses you filthy animals.
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